Stop! Criminal Scum
- Paulie
- Jun 18, 2023
- 6 min read
Updated: Aug 13, 2025
Art, we have decided collectively, has value. To a degree we all decide how valuable a work of art is. We might pay to see a film in the cinema rather than streaming it, we might buy an album on vinyl and see the artist live. We might buy a painting and hang it somewhere people will see it. But we wouldn’t….surely we wouldn’t….
You wouldn’t !! Would you? Unless you’re pirating The Flash (2023) in which case, fair enough. Occasionally though, art theft is very sexy. Let's talk about it.
Let’s Get Looty
For the last decade, security teams at some of the most prestigious museums and galleries in the world have been losing sleep. From Stockholm to Cambridge, shit is going missing. Through a string of highly professional and organised smash and grab jobs, art worth an incalculable amount of money is vanishing into thin air. But who’s responsible? A really sexy French man in a turtleneck tip-toeing around with a bag that says “le swag” on it? Approximately one million ants that have unionised? The Chinese government? Haha jk…..除非?
“The Great Chinese Art Heist” piece by Alex Palmer for GQ is a fun exploration of that exact accusation: The Chinese government are targeting and reclaiming artworks that were previously stolen from China during colonial occupation. Connecting the dots between multiple heists in various countries, Palmer notices that whoever was conducting these heists was laser-focused on stealing from particular collections - collections of Chinese art. The heist at the Chinese Pavilion at Drottningham Palace in Sweden - if you call a palace that, you deserve to be robbed - took about 6 minutes. The getaway vehicle of choice being mopeds and a speedboat.
